It's Not a Mullet

On graduating

2009-06-17T22:50:00.000-05:00

Some people, having gone through a similar situation in life called graduation, have shared their experiences with me. "It's anti-climatic, isn't it?" some might say. Well yes, it is, but it's not as if I expected an explosion of joyous hope and promise ro form an angelic aura around me as I walked across the stage to accept my faux-ploma from some guy I never met before.

On a typical warm May Friday afternoon, I made my way to the Bass Concert Hall, carrying in my hands a borrowed cap and the same gown I wore at high school graduation. I thought I had seamlessly evaded the $45 charge that UT had forced all the other graduates to pay for a one time use garment and a funny tasseled hat. I had not however known that in that $45 package was a white sash that everyone else was wearing, bearing the words "UT Commencement." It wasn't that I particularly cared that I was going to be the one with out one, it was that my mom probably wouldn't like it. Thankfully, for my mom's sake, they had extras there.

The ceremony was nice and short, thanks to it being a History-major only ceremony. Special guest pseudo-celebrity and UT history graduate Paul Bartholomew had an entertaining little speech. Thankfully there were no singing squirrels involved. My name was even pronounced correctly, by one of my old professors, after only a slight hesitation. The Austinbikes crew got a little rowdy in the stands, and after shaking hands with Guy-I-Don't-Know 1 and Guy-I-Don't-Know 2 and a few pictures, I returned to my seat. The rest of the ceremony was a predictable blur of clap-clap-clap, blah-blah-blah, and the school song I still don't know and mostly resent. You would think a school so proud and full of itself would be able to come up with something more creative than a weak "I've Been Working on the Railroad" knock off. The bright spot of the evening was going out and meeting the family and friends that really made my time at college memorable.

I have graduated and life is just the same and yet completely different. As vague and overly whimsical as that sounds, but it bears at least some truth. My head swirls with excitement, anxiety, fear, hope, and any other hokey juxtaposition of contradictory emotions you could think of. I'm on my own. I survived college. Next?

I heart Dille

2009-05-14T12:15:00.004-05:00

History book excerpts

2009-05-13T08:48:00.003-05:00

"...devoid of the officialese and the ideological gobbledegook which obfuscated all government and party statements."

I'm sorry, I don't seem to understand. I don't speak pretentious.

Swine Flu Inspires

2009-05-06T22:22:00.001-05:00

If zombie violence bothers you, I suggest not watching...

Texas Heat

2009-05-06T17:09:00.003-05:00

As I write this, I'm sitting in my room on the third floor of the condo I rent from. The ceiling fan is creaking in protest of being set to the highest setting and the Honeywell HT804 Super Turbo High Performance Fan is set to "Super Turbo High." The thermostat downstairs reads 86 degrees Fahrenheit, only 4 degrees below the 91 it is outside. The A/C works ( I think) so why would I subject myself to such discomfort? My roommate was gone for over 3 weeks in March/April and a week or so since. I'm not really at home much outside of sleeping hours, so I decided to experiment a little and find out just how little electricity I could use. Not really so much to save money or to be green, (ok, maybe a little) but just to see how little electricity I could use in a three-story condo. With the help of some mild weather, I've managed not to touch the thermostat for the past 2 months as it sadly waits in the off position. In conjunction with a minimal amount of dishwasher and washing machine loads it produced this result: A $38.89 utility bill came in the mail today.

Update: I just cracked. The A/C works and it is glorious. Ain't gonna get a utility bill like that one for a good long while.

Things I would do for Megan Fox:

2009-05-04T22:59:00.004-05:00

1.) Start eating meat again
2.) Drink Miller Lite
3.) Listen to Chris Cornell

Why? Watch this video.

I may be graduating soon...

2009-05-03T21:53:00.004-05:00

...but I'm never growing up.

What's the point?

2009-04-14T21:33:00.007-05:00

Ultimate Power Dog Walker Housewife is out on Shoal Creek, doing what she does best, walking the dog with such deliberate force that can only be contained in full work out gear complete with sports bra, spandex, joggers hat, and iPod armband. As any experienced and courteous dog walker should, she totes along plastic bags for doggy clean up. When the situation arises, she picks up after Rosco's nature break, ties off the top of the baggy, and without skipping a beat, tosses the bag into the road and keeps on walking. I guess in a world where it seems more and more that courtesy is more of a pleasant surprise than an expectation, any feeble attempt should be welcomed, but can someone please tell me what the point of being courteous is if you're only going to go half ass it?

Really, why would you save her?

2009-04-12T00:33:00.003-05:00

The polar bear only attacked because she looked like she tasted like Coca Cola and Klondike Bars.

Polar bear attacks woman at Berlin Zoo

2009-04-07T16:23:00.001-05:00

Post a ticket for a sold out show for face value on craigslist = 8 calls in less than 5 minutes after posting it. Sheesh.

2009-03-30T21:43:00.003-05:00

2009-03-27T00:06:00.000-05:00

Awesomely awesome:

Race to no where.

2009-03-24T22:15:00.004-05:00

The competitive nature of mankind is an amazing thing. It is one of the driving forces of many things in every day life. Sports, wealth, even romance. People will go to great lengths to prove their superiority to others, such as dressing up in a spandex onesie whilst wearing a spermatozoon shaped hat or walking 81 miles with a milk bottle balanced on your head. As stupid as those things sound, no competition baffles me more than the competition to be the first commenter on a popular blog. (see examples here and here) Some even compete for second, third, or even top ten douchetard to comment. Not to say all comments are stupid, except those posted on YouTube videos, in fact they can often be funnier and smarter than the actual content being blogged or reported on. But competeing for the first comment like an 2nd grader for the front of the line to the cafeteria, ranks among the world's lamest activities, somewhere in between listening to Nickelback, Twitter (don't get me started), and blogging about power meter wattage or Russian history.

Men down.

2009-03-11T12:06:00.004-05:00

Tuesday Nighter in Austin has gotten pretty scary. Last night everyone queued up on the same side street for the first ride of the year, and as always riders seem to lose grasp of the concept that they're standing in the road and taking up more than half the lane. Strike one.

Strike two, cussed out by pissed off local for peeing in the side of the road considering there are kids around in the neighborhood. Valid point, but kind of lost in all the vitriol and profanity in front of his kid.

Strike three in the lead group of 20 or so Trickey and Jared LeTallDude get tangled up in the gaping road cracks.

Strike Four, and worst of all. Coming down the back side hill, I'm leading the group at 30+ mph with the TJewell on my wheel. Ford F-150 coming the opposite way decides to turn left in front of us at the exactly the wrong time. I managed to dodge left and miss the truck by about six inches, but Tyler had no where to go. He broadsided the side of the truck bed with a violent thud. I thought he was dead. A few others went down including Evan Lambert, continuing his case for "Nicest Guy with the Worst Luck" Award. Truck continued down the road as Stefan, Wheeler, and I gave chase. Luckily the road was a dead end. Unluckly home-boy, is here illegally, has no insurance, and has been enjoying a few cervezas. Tyler and Evan, however are a couple bad-ass mother fuckers. Escaped with injuries and broken bikes but alive and fully concious. Mere mortals would have fared much worse.

Heal up soon, my friends.

Temptation Road

2009-03-08T20:06:00.005-05:00

Sometimes life just isn't fair. In a stretch of 3 blocks while out riding today, I witnessed two great injustices (insomuch as they don't belong to me) Exhibit A. - Attractive young girls washing expensive cars in expensive neighborhood in bikini tops and daisy dukes. Exhibit B. - Aston Martin DB9 windows open, radio on, key in ignition, no one in sight. I'm waiting to meet someone in this particular area, said person is late, so I cruise in between these two (three, I guess since it was two girls) things that I can't have. For about 10 minutes. Still no person in sight of the Aston Martin. What the hell is going on? Neglect? Social experiment? Trap? Indifference? Stupidity? If only I weren't dressed like a super hero on a bike with my name on it. And to the girls, as they faulted themselves right near a busy intersection of Mopac and Enfield, well, that's just plain mean. And wonderful. If only I weren't dressed like a super hero on a bike with my name on it.

Odd moments in history

2009-03-08T11:48:00.010-05:00

Reading up on history for a midterm tomorrow, I learned about the assassination of Reinhard Heydrich. The whole basis of reason behind the Nazification of Germany is way too deep for Sunday morning hangover discussion, one thing is for certain. Some of those guys were just plain f'ed up in the head.

Heydrich, a high ranking SS member and acting ruler of the Bohemia and Moravia region of occupied Czechoslovakia during World War II, had a plot against his life by the Czech government-in-exile. Two assassins used their knowledge of his route for the day, and set up at a point where his car would slow down to make a hairpin turn, where they would unload their Sten sub-machine gun upon him. The plot went according to plan except for one important thing. The gun wouldn't fire. Instead of fleeing like a normal human-being with concern for their life, Heydrich ordered his driver to stop so he could take on the attackers. Assassins went to plan B and threw a bomb at him. When the smoke cleared a wounded Heydrich emerged guns a blazing. He made it half a block before his psycho-rage was overcome by the fact that he had just had a bomb thrown at him. Unable to continue, Heydrich sent his driver out on foot after the assassins.

He would die about a week later. During a hospital visit from Himmler shortly before his death, Heydrich came to grips with his imminent demise with this quote, "The world is just a barrel-organ which the Lord God turns Himself. We all have to dance to the tune which is already on the drum."

Craiglist window shoppers?

2009-02-26T11:17:00.002-06:00

From: *******@austin.rr.com
To: sale-1051037745@craigslist.org
Subject: 54cm Fuji Carbon Team w/ Campy Record
Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2009 07:03:26 -0600

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

Scott,

Your bike is very nice, are pedals not included and is this still available?

Tom

From: Scott Veggeberg

To:******@******.com

Sent: Thursday, February 26, 2009 7:49 AM

Subject: RE: 54cm Fuji Carbon Team w/ Campy Record

It is still available. I didn't list it with pedals, but I can include some Shimano SPD SL Ultegra pedals (the newer wide body style) or some Shimano SPD mountain pedals if you like.

Scott
-------------------------------------

From: *******@austin.rr.com
To: sale-1051037745@craigslist.org
Subject: 54cm Fuji Carbon Team w/ Campy Record

I am sorry to waist your time; but my wife will leave me if I purchase a bike of this quality and price.......Thanks so much anyway.

Tom

2009-02-24T11:12:00.000-06:00

Try not to smile

2009-02-16T23:13:00.001-06:00

2009-02-12T23:27:00.003-06:00

When testing the limits of what you can say on TXBRA, I have learned that "sociopathic giant asshole super douche" = acceptable. "sociopathic giant asshole superdouche that I hope gets shanked in prison" = unaccpetable. Who knew?

Odd Sights in SA

2009-02-08T23:14:00.003-06:00

After today's race in Castroville, I was rolling into San Antonio on I-90. In the median I spotted a man begin to frogger across the westbound side. Seeing people crossing large highways on foot always makes me uneasy, but even more so when it's a short bald, shirtless, shoesless man holding up the 3 size too large jeans he's wearing.

My thoughts on James Clayton, in brief.

2009-02-05T13:23:00.002-06:00

To quote Voltaire, "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."

Good riddance, scumbag.

2009-02-01T22:13:00.002-06:00

The cycling community is great. Some of my best friends and the people I respect most I have met through cycling. Much of my life is consumed by cycling. It's my main mode of transportation, it keeps me employed, it's my biggest hobby. But god damn, some cyclists can be the lamest pieces of shit I've ever encountered. If I didn't have so much disdain for them I would almost feel sorry for them. It really sucks that such shitty people have to share a common interest with so many awesome ones. I suppose that's just life and all groups have their rotten apples, but some cyclists just blow me away.

Best Response, revisited.

2009-01-31T00:06:00.002-06:00

Hatlelid ain't got nothin' on this ad response:

Hi,

Yeah, I would probably like to see the bike and you sometime soon. I'm sure both look and work fine. About the bike, the crank looks a little worn from the picture. Is that from your shoe rubbing? Thats cool, I can help you polish the crank when I come to check it out. Did you like to use a lot of lube when you rode this? I'm busy with work a lot, but maybe I can sneak away for a minute. If not I work at Rusty Spurs, maybe you can drop by with the bike. In some sort of biking outfit. Cool.

Kojo

p.s. Is there any way to get a lower price?

Definitive guide to Texas Bike Racing Coaches

2009-01-27T14:26:00.004-06:00

When the question is posted on TXBRA, asking for recommendations for cycling coaches, an inevitable battle of which coach can beat up which ensues. In order to save time and heartache I have proposed a definitive guide for the most popular results for the cycling coach question.

In alphabetical order:

Chann McRae (http://cmcoaching.com/)- Pros: Pro-level Road and Triathlon experience, wife that can out-sprint me, possible burrito hook-up.
Cons: Pro-level Triathlon experience, therefore may have cooties and may wear mid-riff tank tops. "Personal and sensitive, yet motivating" line on website is kinda creepy.

Christian Williams (http://lonestarworks.com/) Pros: Down to earth, knowledgeable, accessible been on the Texas Racing scene since before I was born. Goes to 11. Is taller than all other coaches listed. Favorite to emerge victorious in case of Texas Coach Royal Rumble.
Cons: Training plans may be written in crayon and have gummy bear residue.

Dave Wenger/ Source-E (http://www.source-e.net/) Pros: High-level racing experience in Texas and nationally, cute cheeks, reminiscent of a Ninja Turtle.
Cons: Radiation from all the technological do-dads may cause cancer. May abruptly vanish from cycling scene in order to pursue modeling career he was truly destined for.

Kevin Livingstone (http://www.pedalhard.com/) Pros: Done the Tour de France more years than I've attended college (That's a lot.) Pretty eyes.
Cons: May have to buy something black and yellow with stars on it in order to get the attention of a Mellow Johnny's employee to ask where the coaching facility is. Phone contact schedule in coaching plans resembles that of prison.

Scott Veggeberg (http://youcantbeserious.com/isntreallyacoachbutwilltakeyourmoneys/) Pros: Was somewhat fast at some undetermined and little known time. Multi-ethnic. Can put his feet behind his head.
Cons: Absolutely zero coaching knowledge. Doesn't actually train. Hates bike racing. Poor people skills and patience. Attention-whore.

Stefan Rothe (http://rothetraining.com/) Pros: High level Texas and International racing experience, multilingual, well-educated. Looks like a tedddy bear. Bonus Package deals for cycling coaching and soccer coaching in conjunction with his wife.
Cons: When asked if there were and more "Extra Services" other than those listed on the website, followed by a wink and nod, was unresponsive.

Vince Lombardi (http://www.vincelombardi.com/) Pros: Arguably greatest coach in history, has a trophy named after him.
Cons: Not involved in cycling at all, dead.

2009-01-22T09:04:00.002-06:00

I don't know why, but it seems an unusual amount of my friends scour craigslist, even if they're not really in the market for a new bike. Here's the best response from that John LidHater guy in Florida

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid:  wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info:  http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

Does bike come with pedal?
Can run shimano wheels and campy cassette and SRAM chain?
I like fast bike is this fast?
Can ship to Seattle in red box?

Thanks


------------------------------------------------------------------
this message was remailed to you via: sale-1000608930@craigslist.org
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Audacity.

2009-01-16T08:38:00.002-06:00

Dear Cake Thief,

With my roommate out of town, I know the exact story of every dish that has stacked up in the sink in the past couple days. Last night, I was alarmed to see a variety of plate I rarely use on top of the bowl of soaking queso remnants. Upon further inspection the plate contained traces of chocolate residue similar to that of a cake. The next logical step was to investigate the home of the glorious left over cake from Katrina's graduation party. Results we shocking: the cake was gone. This is the point where I turn to you cake thief. Your unannounced visit and cake thievery were of questionable manners, but forgivable. However, leaving your dirty dishes and teasing me with random chocolate chunks strewn about the sink are just kicking a man while he's down.

May God have mercy on your soul,
Scott

2009-01-04T11:39:00.005-06:00

I had a "HOPE" Sticker on my Thinksport bottle that lives at the bike shop leading up to the election, and a couple weeks after the election I removed it. When asked why, I explained:

Pre-election = Support

Post-election = propaganda

2009-01-04T11:21:00.002-06:00

I was excited about my new comforter until I looked into the eyes of the evil devil baby on the packaging and he stole my soul.

But I like Juice...

2008-12-30T21:53:00.003-06:00

http://www.jihadwatch.org/archives/024131.php

UCI Downhill Big Wheel World Championships

2008-12-15T15:33:00.003-06:00

Footage from the UCI (Union of Colorado Idiocy) Big Wheel Championships:

aNUT was robbed!

MS PAINT SKILLZ!!!!1!

2008-12-04T21:56:00.003-06:00

I should be writing a paper time-waster post, 12/1/08

2008-12-01T21:51:00.005-06:00

"They had a problem, but the guy from DHL got them on to a flight out of Phuket. They're in Singapore now."

Thailand, a magical place where they cultivate special rice that produces freakishly large beings of about 6ft. in height called "Anuthees" (Commonly pronounced A-nudie, like the bar or the magazine), it is fitting that they produce the best place names in the world as well. Thailand's capital, Bangkok, is tragically so commonly heard that after seeing it's name on the my World Map shower curtain at the age of 7, I have slowly become immune to the hilarity inherent in such a blatantly innuendorific name. However, thank goodness there is Phuket. A place that never stood a chance. Before being called one of my favorite phrases in the English language, it was called Junk Ceylon. "Ceylon" the former name of Sri Lanka, originates from the word Sielen, or "to wallow" in German. Sri Lanka eventually ditched the Ceylon name in favor of the disappointingly boring name they use today meaning "resplendent island." Not to be out done, after wallowing in junk for a while, the Junk Ceylonese people decided awww, Phuket, that's what we should be called instead. The Phuket people, while most well know for their tin production, fittingly also have a booming rubber and sex tourism economy thanks to their excellent naming skills.

Unfortunately, Phuket is not actually pronounced "Fuck it" as I wish it did. I can take solace in the fact that said correctly, it is roughly pronounced "poo-get."

Con artists ride bikes, too.

2008-11-23T13:50:00.005-06:00

So I'm selling some wheels on craigslist. I get an e-mail from ecodesignaustin@gmail.com asking if they are still available, to which I reply yes. I was curious what "eco design austin" was so I decided to look it up and found this: http://www.ecodesignatx.com/index2.html#links

Sounds suspicious but "Eco Design" is a pretty vanilla name and it could be something else. But then I received this reply:

"I own a landscape company. Do you have any interest in a barter? "

I think I'll pass...

Messed up texts you aren't supposed to get...

2008-11-22T16:58:00.002-06:00

Sent to my phone today from a random 512 number:

"Hi Lauren & Alexis, I used you both as referral for a new client that is a mid 20's single female. I could tell she was a little apprehensive during the interview. I didn't want her to think I was a creepster. If she calls pls lie. :-) Thanks!"

To which I responded:

"You have some weird shit going on. And the wrong number."

512xxx-xxxx:

"Lauen (sic) - it's me Kent.

Me:

"Names not Lauren. It's Scott."

512xxx-xxxx:

"yikes. sorry."

I tried thinking about what he was talking about in the first message for a while. It got too creepy though, so I've blocked it out.

Complimentry or Derogatory?

2008-11-17T23:45:00.003-06:00

Either way, it's funny.

Kinda late on it, but it's new to me. He's the President-elect, idiot?

FAIL

2008-11-12T11:01:00.003-06:00

I've been ~~one~~ two-upped:

http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/915704391.html

Deep V's with matching tires and aligned muti-colored chains. Serves me right for trying to out fixie fairy the fixtards. I can at least take solace in the fact that this guy actually spent money doing this while I cobbled mine together with bike shop throw aways. Along the same lines as fratboys wearing North Face fishing shirts, they paid money to look that stupid.

2008-11-11T11:56:00.008-06:00

As a bike shop employee and consistent rider of bicycles for nearly 8 years, I have a unique perspective on the latest fixed gear trend. I have owned a fixed gear bicycle for about 3 years. I traded Karthauser some pedals, a bar, stem, seatpost and some burnt CDs for it. I have successfully commuted from point A to point B on many occasions. I have not delved into the world of flat, riser, mustache bullhorn or other non-drop bars, deep Vs, dizzying colors and other stupid accessories. My bike was a converted road bike with two brakes and two standard brake levers. In three years I have bought 2 sets of bar tape and one tube for it. Recently, the 20 year old Dura Ace 7400 non-drive crank broke in half. I don't really know how but it happens, 20 year old shit breaks. I finally got around to fixing it, but I couldn't find a proper length and taper crank arm. And then somehow it evolved into this:
Justification? I have determined the true logic behind the fixer gear craze. Make your bike as retarded and impractical as humanly possible. Or as I like to call it fixtarded. In which case, I win, for my bike is twice as fixtarded as everyone elses. Now if only I can figure out how to keep the right pedal from unthreading....

English Geek moment

2008-10-30T02:03:00.002-05:00

“people have been very badly educated about Obama’s socialist beliefs,” as Carol Schorr, a retired teacher from Edgewood, N.M., put it.

Poor choice of words? Perhaps people that are "badly educated" should refrain from teaching others....

Tuesday Morning Social Commentary

2008-10-28T11:44:00.001-05:00

Banksy, most well known for his grafitti, also gets you thinking about what you consume

NOTCOT: Banksy's Village Petstore & Charcoal Grill from Jean Aw on Vimeo.

Craigslist scams, my new favorite

2008-10-26T22:22:00.005-05:00

Scams are a common thing you get when you sell from craigslist so I've learned. They're pretty obvious, but all they need is one sucker to bite to make it all worth it. The poor grammar and spelling, plus the awkward use of English are dead giveaways, but this one, while still obviously fake, was pretty good in the spelling department until the part I have highlighted:

I really appreciate your response to my email. I want you to consider it sold, pls do withdraw the advert from CL to avoid disturbance,anyways I don't have time to come over to take a look because of my Business but you don't need to bother yourself with the shipment, I'lltake care of that by engaging the services of a mover, hence I'll besending a check and it will be delivered to you via United Parcel Service, so I'll need you to provide me with the following information
to facilitate the mailing of the check.
1.full name on the check.
2.Full Physical address to post the check
3.City, State and Zip Code
4.Home & Cell Phone to contact you.
Note that the payment will be shipped to your address via UPS NEXT DAY HAIR SERVICE and I will like you to know that you will not be
responsible for shipping i will have my mover to come over as soon as you have cashed the check
N.B UPS does not deliver to a P.O box addresses.Thanks

I hear Limmer is pretty good, but can he deliver next day while wearing short shorts?

UT Course Catalog Fun - Spring 2009 edition

2008-10-20T21:54:00.005-05:00

HIS 350L HISTORY OF HISTORY-W

HIS 362K MEDIEVAL WARFARE

MUS 364 ADVANCED EAR TRAINING

MUS 411B EAR TRAINING AND SIGHT-SINGING

ANT 348K PRIMATE CONSERVATION

CMS 334K NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION (Think twice before giving the professor any dirty looks...)

LAH 350 HISTORY AT PLAY II-W ('W' stands for WHEEEE!!!)

PSY 341K STRESS-W (I thought that was implied?)

C L 381 20TH-C CARIBBEAN WOMEN WRITERS

CMS 344K LYING AND DECEPTION (“I got an A in Lying and Deception!”)

PED 106C 3-AEROBIC WALKING

PSY 350 MOTIVATION ( “I don’t feel like going to Motivation today…”)

Bonus Round:

E 324 LITERARY MARRIAGES FROM HELL

E 363 THE POETRY OF MILTON (While in a literary sense, it is John Milton who is being refered to, we could always hope it's this Milton.)

2008-10-18T15:45:00.003-05:00

If you tire of obscure Russia jokes, pink undies and polar bears then check out the new Austinbikes blog I created. Hear all the latest and greatest from the only bike shop in town with team issue underwear.

Austinbikes blog

Russian History Name of the week:

2008-10-14T20:49:00.003-05:00

As if being a woman weren't hard enough in Russia during 1917, try being a revolutionary one by the name Vera Slutskaia.

They return!

2008-10-12T20:05:00.003-05:00

Jake, originally uploaded by BEE VAN DAHLEN.

A Name We Can Make Believe In.

2008-10-12T13:53:00.008-05:00

Throwing all politcal beliefs aside, I love Barack Obama. Reason being, there is seemingly no end to the amount of words you can make up with his name. John McCain is limited to Raisin' McCain or Raisin McCain. But with Barack Obama, you have the well knowns such as Obamanos, Obamanomics, NObama, Obamanation, Discobama, BaRock the Vote, and there's no way a guy like John McCain or Hillary Clinton could inspire Harder, Better, Barack Obamer

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Best of Craiglist glory

2008-10-08T20:30:00.002-05:00

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/765370039.html

Manly Bike for Sale

Date: 2008-07-22, 10:18AM PDT

Bike for sale

What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".

The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.

The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.

The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.

I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:

Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.

Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".

Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)

2008-10-05T14:53:00.000-05:00

2008-09-22T19:15:00.004-05:00

Seeing as all my free time is consumed by history for the next few days, little is on my mind other than history for the moment, here's another little bit of Russian awesomeness for all to enjoy.

In a trip to New York in 1917, Trotsky "ate in Jewish delicatessens and made himself unpopular with the waiters by by refusing to tip them on the grounds that it was injurious to their dignity."*

Try that one next time you're feeling cheap.

*Figes, Orlando. A People's Tragedy

2008-09-21T15:54:00.002-05:00

(Insert your own global warming and/or Sarah Palin joke here)

2008-09-21T15:15:00.001-05:00

History dork moment, 9/18/08

2008-09-18T23:00:00.003-05:00

Пётр Арка́дьевич Столы́пин, or Petr Arkadevich Stolypin, was a controversial reformer in the final years of Tsarist Russia. He walked around with a bullet-proof and security guards. Some viewed him as the savior of Russia, some called him vain, some called him self-aggrandizing. One fact is (or at least should be) undisputed: He was a bad-ass motherfucker. Shortly after he became prime minister, in the first line of his will he wrote, "Bury me where I am assassinated."

Non-PC moment of the day, 9/15/08

2008-09-15T23:25:00.002-05:00

Is it wrong to laugh at fat people that wear T-shirts calling for an end to world hunger in a non-sarcastic manner?

Thusday's Run On Sentence Rant

2008-08-14T18:59:00.003-05:00

It's a little frustrating sitting in class and listening to a classmate argue with the professor about why she thinks that a certain Spanish conjugation rule doesn't make sense to her as if her base-less argument is going to make the entire Spanish speaking world change the way they use the subjunctive.

That just about sums it up...

2008-08-13T22:39:00.003-05:00

So as I passed by the TxDOT - Pavement Division office on the ride home today I noticed two things: A.) The pavement in front of it was cracked and in very poor condition B.) There was a dirt road encircling the entire office.

15,000 to move 0.1

2008-08-10T21:11:00.008-05:00

The knob leading out of my room took an extra spin before the latch freed itself from the door jamb. Doors had always been a weak point of the 1205 house. I passed by the stem that used to hold have a door knob attached to it outside of the bathroom. In the two years I lived there, a knob had never been present. There was still a knob on the inside of the door, and it still worked as long as you you didn't pull too hard, in which case you were taking the knob with you. It was to the point every door I used in the house had something wrong with it. Even the refrigerator handle had chronic loosening issues. I made my way to the front door for my dramatic final exit. I again employed a secret handshake to open the door, one that eluded many, making for instances of unnecessary and uncomfortable exit assistance. I coaxed the door back into the ill-fitting jamb with a forceful, but loving push. The sound of the door locking echoed throughout the house. And the 1205 was gone forever.

Or so I thought. The other day I just happened to be in the area. A "for lease" sign was still in the front yard next to my Dusty Millers, ferns and shamrock plants that had magically survived the summer. I decided to see if my key still worked. Click, Creak. I had now begun trespassing. The floor shined, there are no longer tire marks littering the walls of the living room. The kitchen floor has a fresh flat linoleum surface, the walls no longer radiated AquaFresh teal and a modern black finished refridgerator nestles between the new blood red cabinents. James' room is no longer shiny poo brown, and the matte mustard yellow of my old room is replaced with a nice but dull gray-green. All the door knobs function and the bathroom light turns on immediately, instead of flickering on 5 seconds later. It was hardly even recognizable any more. The end of an era had officially come. It could pass for a legitimate house if it weren't for the world most useless excuses for human beings still inhabiting the manky basement unit below.

I moved out of the house 1205 house at 10th and Blanco on May 31st. I traveled over 15,000 miles to, in, and from Europe and I got back to Austin in July. I have since searched for an apartment for nearly a month, considered strange frat guys as roommates, taken summer classes, couch surfed at five different houses, taken care of nine pets, helped people move out of their houses twice, worked, and seen Batman three times, only to end up, as of next weekend, living 0.1 miles away at 12th and Blanco with good friends. And no basement unit.

Couchsurfing...

2008-08-05T21:37:00.001-05:00

...summer school, and working are not conducive to blogging. Will be up and running in the near future. And stupidities shall ensue.

Seperated at Birth?

2008-07-21T19:20:00.003-05:00

I knew there was a reason why I like Schleck....

Randumb

2008-07-15T23:31:00.002-05:00

Melt...

more cat pictures

Home

2008-07-10T08:46:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday 'merica

2008-07-04T17:52:00.005-05:00

Here in Barcelona, there were no fieworks or big celebration for July 4th. However this did nothing to repress the true 'merican spirit in some today.

Barcelona, being the big tourist hotspot that it is, is not lacking in people trying to take advantage of them. Anywhere from every 10-50 seconds, a person trying to sell you something passes by. The main categories are as follows: "Cervesa, beer, agua, cola, fanta, cold drink" (Lots of 'mericans here, so they make sure to say something in the language of the people they're catering towards.)"Coco, Coconut." "Gafas" (Sunglasses, which is one of the few that isn't translated). The gypsies with their "vestidos bonitos" (pretty dresses), "empanadas", and of course in painfully stereo-typical fashion, the Asian ladies, and their "Hola, masaje? Massage?".

Personally, I find it slightly comical/convenient. Its funny to see what kind of people actually buy anything from them. If you don't want anything, give them a "No, gracias", shake of the head, or just ignore them completely. Most people don't have a problem with it. After all, they're just out to make a buck. (Or actually a much more valuable euro, which my bank account has become painfully aware of) Others, such as the rowdy Irish drunkards yesterday started asking the coconut guy if he wanted to buy a beer in a role reversal that blew his mind.

However, 'mercian pride and sense of entitlement shone through today. I was aroused from my sun induced stupor at hour who-really-cares of too many at the beach, by someone repeating "Say it one more time!!" in hostile, slurred, but unmistakably American English. One of my favorites, Coconut man, was being hasseled by a fatter, uglier, stupider, tanner, and most importantly, 'mericaner version of House. When projectile bits of coconut began to fly, I propped up ready to intervene if things got any uglier. Coconut man would escape unharmed, but my fellow countryman was not done with his tirade. Next, was an Asian massage therapist (they're obviously legit they all carry around these difficult to find massage charts). After a host of prostitute insults, he began a barely understandable rant, from which I deduced the fact that he was currently a resident of Barcelona (Though definitely an 'merican emigrant from the English he was ranting in) fed up with the beach vendors, yelling "You tourists don't care, you don't have to deal with this every day!" Which was confirmed by his leathery skin that screamed basal cell carcinoma. He further went on to criticize the peaceful Europeans, who if they're really peaceful, "should just kill them all." (Mull that one over and find the sense in it.) Attempts by others to repress the display of 'merican spirit were discarded by threats of knives and cutting off heads followed by sprinting around and more empty threats. Mr. 'merica would eventually leave the area, most likely to find a good alleyway in which he could succumb to whatever drug that influenced his show of patriotism.

So be proud 'merica, your faithful people are letting people know they're number one across the globe.

Makes ya feel dumb...

2008-06-29T11:20:00.003-05:00

So as I was hanging out in the park (in 70 degree Andorran summer weather) two girls nearby were speaking in French to each other, which is fairly common here. One of them received a phone call, which she took in Spanish. The official language of the country is Catalan, so she probably speaks that, too. So she was most likely at least trilingual. And about 15 years old.

Recently...

2008-06-25T18:16:00.004-05:00

We had a short stay in northern Italy and the the south of France before the final push to Andorra and Spain. Wish we could have stayed more, but as expected, we didn't have time. The trams in Montpellier are nuts. Orange covered with red, yellow, and green flowers. Red velvety seats with a similar flower design and swoopy shapes, and pastel green every thing else inside. The Grinch stole my ticket and the Lorax kept giving me odd stares. And if you look closely you can find Horton in the picture. (Ok, that wasn't nice...sorry)

Conclusion: French girls are hot. Austin's drag rats/worms are overflow from Montpellier. French people do in fact smell (sometimes). Dr. Seuss is not dead he just moved to France.

We're now in Andorra, a small principality in the Pyrenees between France and Spain. First thing I liked about it, other than it being gorgeous with perfect weather, was the fuel prices. 40 euro cents per liter cheaper than everywhere else, or 1.50 euro cheaper if you convert it to gallons. It mean that we spent about 30 euro ($46.50) less for a full tank of bup-bup fuel. Thank you, tax haven.

Moving through Europe so fast...

2008-06-25T18:11:00.002-05:00

You can't even get a picture of me (or a real blog entry)...

Ready for Italy

2008-06-19T02:13:00.002-05:00

Maybe I'll write more about Switzerland later it's pretty awesome, but right now I'm ready for Italy with these extremely useful phrases:

You're not married, are you? Non sei sposato, no?

What's your name again? Come ti chiami, ancora?

No, don't stop. No, non smettere.

Non ha mai visto quella cosa prima d'ora. I've never seen that before.

Signore, se veramente vuole morire, la accontento. Sir, if you truly have a death wish, I'll be happy to oblige you.

Cos'è quell'odore? What is that smell?

Come ti chiami, mio cestino di frutta celestiale? What is your name, my celestial fruit basket?

Sei simpatico come un gatto attaccato ai maroni. You are as kind as a cat hanging by its balls.

Ti scoppiasse un dente! I hope your teeth blow up!

2008-06-10T02:14:00.003-05:00

Apparently they don't speak much English in the Czech Republic. When you ask if they do, you get an indifferent shrug that I have interpreted as "Enough to take your money, stupid American." We did however, randomly run into some people from New York and a girl that goes to Texas State. After much fotbal, pivo (beer), walking around and getting lost, we autobahned the hell out of there after and back to Germany. We're now in Würzburg visiting Frank, Marion, and Sofia. It's good to see some familiar faces.
It's awesome here but of course I miss a lot of thing about back home. Family, friends, the shop, the abandoned 1205 house, and the fact that I'm missing Willis' event of the season, the day after some race in the dark.

Pictures

2008-06-07T09:31:00.002-05:00

Despite being Asian, I'm terrible about whipping out the camera. Luckily, I have Blake with me, who's basically a digital SLR around his neck and a fanny pack away from being a full on Asian tourist, so check out his pictures at: http://flickr.com/photos/blakeharlan/

Driving...

2008-06-07T03:06:00.002-05:00

Go this fast...

Still get passed.

I knew I would fit in somewhere

2008-06-07T03:00:00.001-05:00

Does Europe Come In Men's?

2008-06-05T16:36:00.001-05:00

Car, Plane, Plane, Plane, Plane, Bus, Airport Railway, Security buggy (apparently wandering to the wrong set of gates in Heathrow’s Terminal 5 is a no-no) Plane, Train, and I finally arrive at the Munich hostel. So comprised my 34 hour journey. Upon my arrival, all I really wanted to do was take a shower. However, the floor’s only communal shower is occupied. Fine, I camp it out nearby. Shortly after, a shirtless guy, in American English, asks if I’m waiting for the shower. I reply yes, and he says he’ll be out in a minute. Later, he and a female companion emerge, her covering her face in embarrassment. I kind of just shrug it off; it is a hostel after all. I do take into consideration where I place my towel, etc. though....

Cyclingnews live coverage

2008-05-21T09:39:00.001-05:00

"Two-man battle for pink goes to Italy"

2008-05-12T19:26:00.003-05:00

As I plan out catching the bus later tomorrow out of Boulder to DIA, I ponder the severe redundancy of the street name "Table Mesa Dr."

Current Mood: Want to move to Colorado-ey (at least from May-August....ey)
Currently listening to:

Bon Iver - For Emma
Cassettes Won't Listen - Freeze and Explode

2008-05-07T23:48:00.000-05:00

2008-05-03T15:31:00.002-05:00

Good: My ability to heal quickly
Bad: My increasing sense of invincibility because of it.

On being a human train wreck

2008-05-01T21:55:00.002-05:00

Sleeping on average 4 hours a night for this week: check
Working your ass off for straight Cs: check
Crashing on wet bricks: check
Introducing the world to the whoopdee wheelie because you are too energetic for normal sports: check
Reopening your week old wounds: check
Re-injuring your nagging wrist injury making typing and writing difficult during finals week: check
Bending your new deraillieur hanger: check
Questioning your every insecurity and value as a human being: check
Not caring 10 minutes later through your amazing ability of denial and inability to learn from mistakes: check
Ordering a sweet new speaker system for your bike: check

Weasel in disguise, originally uploaded by lomophobia.

Current mood: Blissful
Currently listening to:

Beirut - My Night With the Prostitute from Marseille
The Virgins - Tequila Alley

Great Moments In History

2008-04-29T12:05:00.002-05:00

Nikita Sergeevich Khrushchev to Andrei Kirilenko (the politician, not the starting forward for the Utah Jazz)

...you violated the constitution...when you stuck listening devices all over the dacha. Even in the toilet - you spend the people's money eavesdropping on my farts.

Current state: New found respect for Khrushchev-ful
Currently listening to:

Pela - Lonesome Hearts (Cassettes Won't Listen Remix)
DJ Medhi - Pocket Piano

Missed connections love.

2008-04-23T00:20:00.006-05:00

dear bike riders every tuesday at around 5pm - w4m (south congress)

Reply to: (removed)
Date: 2008-04-22, 8:26PM CDT

i watch you ride by every tuesday. i do have to say a lot of you are babes. you make my day complete.
anyone wanna go on a bike ride sometime?

Taking bets on who is going to respond (other than me of course...)

2008-04-21T00:33:00.003-05:00

I sure is hard to write a paper about Germany when you spilled orange juice on your keyboard and the"G" on your keyboard sticks. od bless the reat nation of ermany.

Always someone lamer than you

2008-04-20T11:15:00.004-05:00

I'm pretty comfortable with the fact that I wear tight clothes and play with something most people view as a child's toy and call it a sport. However, it never hurts to see people even lamer than you to make you feel better about yourself. Which I guess is the entire basis for reality television. So as I passed by Waterloo Records yesterday in my padded shorts and foam hat on my plastic bike, I looked at the people in line for autographs from Panic! At the Disco, and thought, "At least I'm not them."

Current Mood: Super-ior
Currently listening to:

Jamie Lidell - Little Bit Of Feel Good (Mr. Oizo remix)
MGMT - Destrokk

2008-04-14T22:25:00.004-05:00

Today was a good Monday. A paper due this Friday was moved to next Monday and one of my classes isn't meeting the rest of the week. Work was good. Even my night class wasn't bad. So I'm in a good mood and I'm not going to ruin it by writing in length about Hippy White Trashfest: Redeux last night. Two things, though. I realize hippy and white trash aren't all that compatible as descriptions of the same two people, however, that's just how amazing the basement hippies are. And second, I just had to laugh that the male basement hippy was so ridiculously drunk, that in all seriousness, interrupted his ramblings to tell me, "gosh, you sure are pretty." Twice. Not in a facetious, you're a prissy boy way, but as in an I've got a man attraction to you way. This was before he started to try and break the basement door down.

Current State: Man-ttractive.
Currently listening to:

Kevin Drew - Safety Bricks
Mr. Oizo - Nazis (Justice Remix)

Austinbiketastic times in Ft. Davis

2008-04-14T22:05:00.003-05:00

For more picture and video click here.

Mmmmm...

2008-04-13T16:39:00.001-05:00

Hate tastes delicious sometimes. Glad I got that out of my system.

Peace, Love and Unity,
Scott
xoxo

Waiting with some hate and a pack of sandwiches

2008-04-12T20:35:00.014-05:00

The legendary 1205 house is to be vacated at the end of May when Wheeler gets married, ScottW graduates, and I escape to Europe for a month. I'll miss the place quite a bit. I will write it a proper tribute at a later time. There are some drawbacks to the place, nothing that bothers me too much though. Expect the neighbors in the basement. The 1205 is two units. 1205 A is an actual house, three bedroom, two bathroom typical Clarksville home. However in it dark under belly lies 1205 B. A basement unit with an entrance that is luckily hidden behind behind the house is home to a worthless middle age hippy "couple." Hippy gets applied to far too broad a spectrum of people nowadays but if you're looking for a tried an true definition these two could be offered up as examples. The kind that look forward to Eeyore's Birthday Party as their religious holiday of marijuana and patchuli stink. And even though they cleverly disguise themselves as actual productive human beings from time to time they can't help but bust out the red lensed glasses and tye dye t-shirts (It's like they're a caricature of themselves). Their overflowing recycling bins full of Busch beer and Diet Caffeine Free Coke exude class as does the econo-van and Geo Metro, complete with bumper sticker hearkening back to the days of "Old Austin". Steven has lived here for god knows how long and he still really doesn't know what they do. Sol claims they're professional gamblers. The general consensus is that we couldn't care less.

After a rough night on Thursday, I retired to bed at a reasonable hour Friday night. Around 2AM I got a drunk dial from a friend and had a hard time getting back to bed. Luckily, I had quality TNT late night programming on my side and Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle helped lull me to a semi-conscious state. However that all changed when the econo-van blazed down the driveway to the back of the house. I had the sinking feeling that the inevitable monthly/bi-monthly drunken domestic fight was coming. This one started as a dull roar and escalated, the woman's bitchy cackle pierced through the floor and walls of the thinly insulated house. I let it run it's course and it began to quiet 10-20 minutes later, but then heated up again. I gave the floor a couple firm "shut the fuck up" stomps. Shortly after that they put in their finishing jabs of "shut ups" and "just go to bed"s and peace in OWA resumed. This was a relatively minor scrum on the white trash o' meter, we have had to call the police on them before. Just another night at the 1205.

Fast forward to tonight, Saturday at 8:30PM I'm playing some music at what I consider a reasonable volume. I song with somewhat heavy bass comes on and I hear the "quiet down" tapping from the unit below. Really? I ignored it, almost at disbelief they were pulling that card after trashfest last night. Another annoyance tap. Then a knocking on the door. Which I also ignore. I've identified that the woman downstairs has a sick personal enjoyment that is fulfilled by bitching at people, so I wasn't about to give her the pleasure, even though I had a strong urge to rip into her about what a piece of shit she is.

So, seriously? Go fuck yourselves, you scum of the earth.

2008-04-11T23:01:00.002-05:00

Cheezy Radio Commercial guy: (Generic Strip Club Name) has everything you need as an ultimate gentleman.

Starting when I was 17 years old, I've been to a strip club on five occasions. I believe this is sufficient enough to consider me as an experienced strip club veteran, and therefore I can be expected to be referred to as an ultimate gentleman from now on. Spread the word.

2008-04-11T22:01:00.003-05:00

There are so many things for which I am thankful of my parents. One of those many things is that they have never made my sister and me sit on the side of Mopac Expressway and take pictures of us ~~destroying~~ sitting in the bluebonnets.

Currently: Not on the side of the highway (Or any where near Ft. Davis, bu-hatch!)
Currently Listening to:

Cassettes Won't Listen - Change
AmpLive - 15 Stepz

It's the little things...

2008-04-09T22:32:00.005-05:00

Caffeine, I've decided is the substance that makes the world go around. Austinbikes has been able to survive as a 3, arguably 4, person operation is in large part due to caffeine in its many wonderful forms. The espresso machine has made a comeback after realizing how much money we spent on coffee like beverages (because really, frozen mochas from Coco's bear very little resemblance to actual coffee) However, the frequency of espresso consumption has definitely dulled my reaction to the wonderful stimulant. Today, the jackpot of jack-up, an energy drink blessed me with it's presence.

How much do I love energy drinks? I am dedicating an entire entry to it. Not that really means much when you blog about such things as Flintstones vitamins and nasal spray on a regular basis. But what ever. The point is, I like them. A lot. A customer left the shop with out remembering to take their unopened tall boy of liquid productivity. I'm not one to rush and claim something that someone left at the shop as my own, but I made an exception for such occasion. I did allow a grace period in case the customer was to return for thine coveted can. When it was clear they would not be returning, I claimed it as my own. And much was achieved.

What is the point of this whole spiel that ended so anti-climatically? While I do have an affinity towards energy drinks, I rarely indulge myself with them. For one reason, because I'm cheap. People complain that fuel prices are expensive. However the average energy drink is $2 if you're lucky per 16 oz of human fuel. Therefore a gallon being 128 oz, means that a gallon of energy drink will cost $16. OPEC ain't got shit on the energy drink companies. Second of all, too much of such a wonderful substance can't be good for the health on a regular basis. Especially when the substance has an after taste that closely resembles that of a penny. Thirdly, except in unleaded (sugar-free) form, energy drinks contain upwards of 200 calories, and I fear for my girlish figure. I'm a firm believer in moderation i.e. I only get trashed on a moderate basis or I only get moderately trashed. Or I only moderately want to shoot every member of Nickelback in the face. (That's a lie, I really want to shoot them all. Bad.) So every once in a while I do indulge and I enjoy every minute of it especially when it's free.

I realize this has been a long and stupid rambling about pretty much nothing. So to summerize:

Me likely energy drinks. No leavy food or drink in front of fat kid unattended. The End.

Current thought: "Did I really just write all that about that little?"
Currently listening to:

Modest Mouse - Gravity Rides Everything
Caribou - She's The One (Hot Chip Remix)

2008-04-08T00:30:00.001-05:00

I like to believe that all my troubles in life can be traced back to the fact that as a child I broke into the cabinet above the sink and overdosed on Flintstones vitamins.

Current state: Yabadabalicious
Currently listening to:

Broken Social Scene - Late Nineties Bedroom Rock For The Missionaries
Ornella Vanoni - L'Appuntamento

2008-04-03T12:13:00.002-05:00

Blond hair: check
Gucci Cum-goggles: check
Giant Gucci bag/tote/baby smuggler: check
Bright Pink and Green Sorostitute affiliated t-shirt: check
Short shorts: check
Bright Pink Legal Pad to take down Russian history notes on: check

Academics are serious here.

Charity bikes, this is Scott, how can I help you?

2008-04-02T23:56:00.004-05:00

Awesome Campus Area Customer, example #1

(After Sol tells him we don't have any spare Square Taper crank bolts)
ACAC: Bummer I was able to find all the parts from my bike out of the trash except the stupid crank bolts. (sic) Do you know where I can find some?
Sol: Try Freewheeling at 24th and San Gabriel.
ACAC: How much do you think those will cost?
Sol: I don't know maybe 5 bucks?
ACAC: How much do you think they could sell me some used ones for?

Current State: Fearing the future of mankind
Currently listening to:

Hot Hot Heat - Oh, Goddamnit
Death From Above 1979 - Turn It Out

Huh?

2008-03-30T23:37:00.004-05:00

Third party Justice Phantom Pt. II video. Weird as hell, kinda creepy, and kinda hot all at the same time.

Current State: Conflicted
Currently Listening to:

Justice - Phantom Pt II (durr...)
Daft Punk - Steam Machine

On Hillary Clinton

2008-03-29T02:06:00.008-05:00

"I'm a woman, I don't want to turn in my va jay jay (sic) because I won't vote for Hillary." - Some ~~broad~~ woman on CNN

Anytime a phrase like "va jay jay" is used on CNN in a semi-serious tone, you know it's good.

Current state: (Insert something more creative than ~~drunk~~ ~~buzzed~~ tired here)
Currently Listening to:

Does It Offend You, Yeah? - With A Heavy Heart (I Regret To Inform You)
Scissors For Lefty - Nickels & Dimes

2008-03-28T00:25:00.003-05:00

Too much nasal spray makes me feel like I've damaged my brain.

Current mood: Lobotomized-esque
Currently Listening to:

Radiohead - Weird Fishes (Amplive Remix)
YACHT - The Summer Song

2008-03-26T22:11:00.001-05:00

Studying is never all that fun, but it's a little easier when you have the cutest textbook cover ever...yes, you do...

C^2 vs. Bewers

2008-03-21T19:37:00.001-05:00

A battle of epic proportions wages as the Texas Bike Dork Blog World is rocked!!! Who will win? Who will cry to their mommy? Who is going to be big spoon? Who will actually care? When did I eat corn?

For those outside of the loop, I'll save you a lot of pain/reading by summarizing the whole thing :

Yeah, it's kinda like that...

2008-03-18T04:45:00.000-05:00

Current mood: .................
Currently listening to:

Simian Mobile Disco - Sleep Deprivation
Dengue Fever - Sleepwalking Through The Mekong (Morgan Page remix)

How to (intentionally) scare people off

2008-03-14T03:31:00.006-05:00

Strange Miller Lite Ear plug girls: Would you like some free ear plugs?
Me: Sure, that's a great idea.
Bennett: Hey, so after I use the ear plugs I like to chew on them, is that weird?

DO IT!!!

2008-03-14T03:09:00.002-05:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

2008-03-14T00:08:00.004-05:00

This picture really has nothing to do with SXSW, yet it exemplifies thine awesomeness.

Current mood: Hell if I know.....
Currently listening to:

MGMT - Kids
Chromeo - Fancy Footwork

Racing Canoes

2008-03-09T13:32:00.004-05:00

So I noticed my next door neighbor had a canoe outside. It was made out of carbon fiber and had a "txcanoeracing.org" sticker on it. I began to think how ridiculous that seemed, but then I caught myself....

At least the canoe didn't have the words "presented by" on it.

Cute Overload

2008-03-09T13:31:00.001-05:00

It's even worth screwing up my blog formatting.